“Marriage is honourable in all!” Marriage is a sacred and holy covenant made between a man and a woman in the sight of God and men. It is a covenant that is made for life or until death separates you. It is a time where you invest your life into the life of another, seeking to fulfill their needs while helping them to grow in their relationship with the Lord and become more Christ-like in character. It is a time where you can genuinely and sincerely love another person from the heart and pour yourself into them. Marriage requires unconditional love, sacrifice, and great intimacy. Intimacy requires:
- No lying
- No going back on words
- No changing
As the husband, it is my duty to be gentle toward my wife. After all, she is a precious gift from God. I am commanded to love my wife – at all times, in every way. Many today have this idea that their spouse must earn or be deserving of their love, but this command is given regardless of whether she earns or deserves it. I am to treat her like a queen – like she is the most precious gift on Earth. I am to respect her, cherish her, and adore her. It is my privilege and right to encourage her to become more Christ-like in her attitude, speech, behaviour, and every day life. I am to minister to her daily. I am to appreciate her in public. This will give great testimony to our marriage and will give outsiders a high view of how wonderful my wife is. I am never to speak negatively about my wife to anyone – friend or family – or to tell others of her flaws or weaknesses. I am to build her up in the eyes of others. Any negative things should be discussed between my wife and I only, and resolved between the two of us and before God Almighty. To bring these outside the marriage and discuss them with other people is to breech the integrity and honour of the marriage covenant and my promise to “uphold her,” which means to appraise her highly and valuably before others for her worth – those God-given qualities that God has instilled in her that make her a wonderful partner and beautiful wife. I am to guard her heart – at all times. It is my duty to protect her – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. God has entrusted me with this beautiful young woman, His daughter, and I am to look after her with the utmost and greatest care. I am commanded to love her as I love my own body. As a husband, if I want a harmonious marriage, it is my responsibility to obey God’s command to me and to “love my wife.” If I love her the way I ought, that will cure half the problems that many people face in their marriages.
As Proverbs 5:18-20 puts it: “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A love doe, a graceful deer – may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man’s wife?” This is the key to a happy marriage. The woman you marry is the wife of your heart.
Men are responsible for the spiritual covering of their household. A husband should live marriage for what’s best for his wife – not himself. He should put his desires on the shelf.