Sunday, May 10, 2015

Modern Weddings: Why Are They Completely Backwards?

Let me ask you a question in order to hopefully jump-start your brain.

When you have a birthday, do YOU do all of the work just so that YOUR GUESTS can enjoy YOUR special day?

No! Quite obviously not.

So why is it that in our modern day and age weddings are treated this way? Most weddings these days, the bride and groom are expected to do all the work and spend all their money in order to make their guests feel comfortable and allow them to enjoy THEIR (the bride and groom's) special day. When did we get so backwards?

Today, the bride and groom spend thousands (if not tens of thousands) of dollars on their wedding day and then end up fighting over money problems for the next several years. In many cases, this leads to divorce. The bride and groom are just starting a new life together and will need what little money they have in order to start that life. Maybe they will need that money for a down payment on their first house. Who knows? Regardless, the bride and groom should not be expected to pay for the enjoyment of their guests. It is the guests who should be taking care of the bride and groom, not the other way around! The guests should be helping to prepare everything for the bride and groom, coming together in order to celebrate THEIR (the bride and groom's) special day and support THEM, just as it used to be historically.

Historically, the church and/or community used to come together and setup the decorations for the ceremony and prepare a potluck meal for the reception. Everyone contributed a little something so that everyone could share in the celebration. The church and/or community supported the newly weds so that they could use what little money they had in order to start their new life together. If a bride and groom spend all their money on their wedding day and their guests, what are they going to have in order to start out their new life? Nothing!

If a bride is selfish and self-centered enough that she wants everything "her way," then obviously she had better have the money to pay for it herself, or someone should slap her upside the head and get her head on straight. The only time the bride and groom should bother preparing everything for their wedding and paying for everything is if they are wealthy and can afford it. A bride and groom should never go in debt in order to get married. If your guests are not willing to help prepare, setup, and celebrate YOUR special day, then perhaps those people should not be invited. The bride and groom should be able to sit back and relax and enjoy THEIR special day. If the bride and groom are going to be expected to spend money in order to make their guests happy, then they would be better off not inviting anyone and simply having the civil marriage done by the government with a couple witnesses.

We need to get back to the church and/or community (family and friends) supporting the bride and groom, and not the other way around. It is pretty sad when a bride and groom are struggling to try and get married and their friends and family do not even bother to offer their help. Really shows how much they love them, does it not?