The Big Bang Theory: Sheldon Meets His Match

If I were writing an episode for the series...

Chris Christian moves into the building on the fifth floor. Penny is the first to meet him. She enjoys having conversations with him and introduces Bernadette and Amy to him, who find him fascinating as well. Eventually, he is invited over to eat with the rest of the gang. The conversation eventually builds to the following...:

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: Sheldon, you seem like an intelligent person...

Sheldon interrupts Chris.

SHELDON COOPER: Seem like? I have an I.Q. of 183. I'm one of the smartest people I know. I...

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: Excuse me! Do you always interrupt everyone who is speaking?

Everybody looks at Sheldon who has a bewildered look on his face, then turn back to Chris.

EVERYONE: Yes!

Sheldon looks around at them all in surprise.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: Let me ask you a question, Sheldon.

Sheldon starts to gleam with joy.

SHELDON COOPER: I encourage you to ask me as many questions as you can.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: Thank you. I plan to.

Sheldon turns to Penny.

SHELDON COOPER: See, Penny? You could learn something from him.

Penny gives Sheldon an unimpressed look.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: Simple definition, Sheldon, what is "science"?

SHELDON COOPER: Science is the study and observation of the universe.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: Correct. The American Dictionary of the English Language says, "a collection of the general principles or leading truths relating to any subject. Pure science, as mathematics, is built on self-evident truths; but the term science is also applied to other subjects founded on...experiment and observation." The Canadian Oxford Dictionary says, "a branch of knowledge conducted on objective principles involving the systematized observation of and experiments with phenomena, esp. concerned with the material and functions of the physical universe." Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary says, "knowledge or a system of knowledge covering general truths or the operation of general laws esp. as obtained and tested through scientific method." So, simple definition, what is the "scientific method"?

Howard speaks under his breath mostly to himself, but loud enough everyone else can hear.

HOWARD WOLOWITZ: That's where we always go wrong. Limiting him to the parameters of a simple definition.

Sheldon gives him a strange look before answering Chris.

SHELDON COOPER: The scientific method is the observation, measurement, experiment, and formulation, testing, and modification of hypotheses.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: Correct. The Canadian Oxford Dictionary says, "a method of procedure consisting of systematic observation, measurement, and experiment, and the formulation, testing, and modification of hypotheses." The Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary says, "principles and procedures for the systematic pursuit of knowledge involving the recognition and formulation of a problem, the collection of data through observation and experiment, and the formulation and testing of hypotheses." Now, you probably think that the universe is billions of years old, but you're wrong.

SHELDON COOPER: Wrong? I am never wrong.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: That's pride and arrogance speaking, Sheldon. The Bible says, "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall."

Sheldon, upset, looks to Leonard.

SHELDON COOPER: Leonard, make him leave.

LEONARD HOFSTADTER: No, let's hear him out.

Sheldon gets a look of surprise on his face.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: While science cannot explain everything, as a scientist, you cannot ignore the evidence. The scientific method must be applied at all times in order for it to be science. Otherwise, it is merely opinion, philosophy, religion, or fairytale. So let's look at the evidence, Sheldon. Paraphrased, what does every science textbook from kindergarten to university say about the origins of the universe?

SHELDON COOPER: Billions of years ago there was nothing. Nothing means nothing. Then all the dust and dirt in the galaxy came together to form a ball smaller than a period on a page. That ball began spinning faster and faster until it exploded.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: Did you catch that? "Nothing means nothing." So where did all the dirt and dust come from?

Sheldon, caught off guard, thinks for a moment.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: What made the dust and dirt come together? Where did gravity come from? Who created it? Where did the laws that govern our universe come from, and why aren't they changing?

SHELDON COOPER: Um...

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: As a scientist, you know from the Law of Inertia that any object in motion, any pieces that fall off that object will continue spinning in the same direction until they encounter resistance. "Nothing means nothing," so there would be no other objects to bump into. The further out the pieces got, the farther apart they would be from each other. So how is it that we have planets spinning backwards and moons spinning and traveling backwards?

SHELDON COOPER: I don't know.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: Moving on then. The sun burns off tons of gas every day. We can measure how much gas the sun burns, right?

SHELDON COOPER: Right.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: If you multiply that number not even by one million years, at one point the sun would have been so big that it would have touched the Earth. The dinosaurs would have fried to death.

Sheldon doesn't say anything, but is thinking about what Chris is saying.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: The moon is moving away from the Earth. We can measure how much it is moving away from the Earth, right?

SHELDON COOPER: Right.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: If you take the rate at which the moon is moving away from the Earth and multiply it not even by one million years, at one point the moon would have been hovering just over the face of the Earth. The dinosaurs would have got mooned.

Everyone laughs while Sheldon gives them a shocked look of disgust.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: The Inverse Square Law states that if you half the distance of the moon, you quadruple its effects. Therefore, the Earth would have been flooded twice a day.

 Chris pauses.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: The Earth is slowing down. We can measure the rate at which the Earth is slowing down, right?

SHELDON COOPER: Right.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: If you take the rate at which the Earth is slowing down and multiply it not even by one million years, at one point the Earth would have been spinning at a tremendous rate. The dinosaurs would have been thrown into outer space.

RAJESH KOOTHRAPPALI: Wouldn't gravity have been increased?

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: No. If you study a merry-go-round, the faster you get that thing spinning, you don't get sucked into the center of it. You are thrown off.

Sheldon remembers an incident from his past with the kids who picked on him.

SHELDON COOPER: It's true. When I was younger, the neighbourhood children spun me around on a merry-go-round until I flew off. Then I threw up. It was a horrible day.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: The nucleus has properties of expulsion. It pushes outward. Yet, everything in creation is held together. Why is that, Sheldon?

SHELDON COOPER: Um... I don't know.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: The Bible says, "In Him all things hold together." All the things we have just discussed are based on real science and the scientific method, along with simple mathematics.

Chris pauses.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: Sheldon, how do you know how old dinosaur bones are?

SHELDON COOPER: By the layer of rock they're found in.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: And how do you know how old the layers of rock are?

SHELDON COOPER: By the dinosaur bones found in them.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: That's called circular reasoning, Sheldon. The dates are made up. If you look all over the world, you will not find those layers occurring in the same order. In fact, in some places you'll find trees standing upright through several layers. If those layers took millions of years to form, how did those trees get there? So-called "science" claims those layers took millions of years to form, but I can take a handful of dirt and sand and rock, throw it in a bottle, shake it up, and it will settle into layers in a matter of seconds. The layers happened quickly during a global catastrophe.

Chris pauses again.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: Are you aware that dinosaurs did not go extinct "millions" of years ago? That they walked with man?

SHELDON COOPER: Oh, please! This I've got to hear.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: First of all, in 1840, one year before the word "dinosaur" was coined by Sir Richard Owen, there was a book written by Thomas Hawkins called The Book of the Great Sea Dragons. It talks about "dinosaurs," such as the Plesiosaurus, yet calls them "dragons." Dragons and dinosaurs are one in the same. Not the current mythological understanding of the word "dragon." The Chinese calendar has twelve animals represented on it. Is it logical to assume that they would have eleven physical animals and one mythical animal?

SHELDON COOPER: I suppose not.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: If you look around the globe, you will find carvings, etchings, and hieroglyphs of images that look exactly like dinosaurs. If dinosaurs went extinct 65 million years ago, how is it that every nation, tribe, and people group could draw the exact same thing? How is it that all these people groups could draw the exact same myth, and yet they are separated by distant time and distant geography? A stone temple in Cambodia from 1186 A.D. has a carving of a Stegosaurus on it. How did these people, 800 years ago, carve an image that looks so exact to the Stegosaurus? This is just one of over 80 instances around the world where the people would have to have seen it to reproduce its anatomy so perfectly. A cathedral in the UK has a bishop who was buried there over 600 years ago. On his tomb are carved a number of animals, including sauropod dinosaurs. How could these images get there if they were extinct 65 million years ago? These people obviously saw these creatures for themselves.
The Nasca Indians lived in the river valley of Peru's south coast from roughly 200 B.C. to 600 A.D. They are most likely best known for the famous Nasca Plain, an area measuring 37 miles long and 1 mile wide. Here, strange geometric patterns of immense size have been cut into the plain. Extremely telling, however, is that much of Nasca Tomb art seems to be depicting dinosaurs. Whether tapestry or pottery, art can be found depicting dinosaurs such as Allosaurus, Diplodocus, Pterosaurs, Stegosaurus, Triceratops, and even Tyrannosaurus. What is even more fascinating is that Sauropod frills, such as seen on the Diplodocus on one of their stones, were not found until 1992!. Yet, they were being drawn correctly 2,000 years earlier by the Nasca Indians! This argues strongly that those who made these pieces of art were eye-witnesses to the dinosaurs, contrary to what Evolutionists tell us.
Every now and then, a colossal discovery occurs that creates vast problems for evolutionists. This is precisely the case with a bunch of clay figurines that were discovered in Acambaro, Mexico in 1945. These figurines have been dated back to circa 2500 B.C. There were some 33,000 sculptures unearthed, hundreds of which appear to be dinosaurs. One of those figurines was an Iguanadon. In the 1800's, Iguanodon was poorly rendered. If you look at modern renderings of the Iguanadon, you will see the accuracy reflected in this figurine. Obviously these people knew how an Iguanodon looked in real life. This argues that those who made these figurines were eye-witnesses to the actual creature! 
Alexander the Great talked about a giant lizard that frightened his army. Marco Polo recorded having seen dragons when he was in China. Herodotus heard rumours of winged creatures and, showing the mettle of a true historian, went to check it out for himself and recorded it in his work. Flavius Josephus writes about dragons. Many historians recorded these facts but modern humans brush it aside as fables.

Leonard, beaming brightly at Sheldon's confusion, leans over to Penny.

LEONARD HOFSTADTER: This guy's good. I've never seen Sheldon so confused before.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: In the bed of the Paluxy River, near Glen Rose, Texas, two sets of strange tracks have been found. Though highly contested as to their nature, it appears as if human footprints cross those of a dinosaurs. The human tracks are found in the same bedding as those of the dinosaur. You might ask, "How could tracks last so long?" This is what is called "ephemeral markings", where normally temporary markings in sand, such as bird tracks or water ripples, are actually found in rock. Such markings can only occur when the sand is rapidly converted to sedimentary rock as it is subjected to incredibly high pressure as brought about by tremendous amounts of water. This must occur over a very short duration of time; mere moments. These tracks argue that humans and dinosaurs co-existed at one point in time. There is tons more I could share, but I think that should suffice.

Sheldon tries to act smugly.

SHELDON COOPER: Do you believe in unicorns too?

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: As a matter of fact, I do.

Sheldon scoffs.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: Webster's New World Dictionary defines 'unicorn' as: "A mythical horse-like animal with a single horn growing from its forehead." The 1828 Noah Webster American Dictionary of the English Language defines it as: "An animal with one horn: the monoceros. This name is often applied to the rhinoceros." Notice how this definition says nothing about a "horse", a "horse-like animal", a "mythical animal", a "fictitious creature", or "Greek mythology"? It says this name is often applied to the rhinoceros. People frequently and erroneously think of rhinoceroses as only having two horns. If you look up the word "rhinoceros" in the same dictionary, you read: "A genus of quadrupeds of two species, one of which, the unicorn, has a single horn growing almost erect from the nose. ... There is another species with two horns, the bicornis." Noah's original dictionary was written almost 200 years ago. The King James Bible was translated over 400 years ago. The Wycliffe Bible was first published in 1382 and used the word "unicorn." So if the definition of the word "unicorn" has changed in the last 200 years from a rhinoceros to a horse, it does not make sense to take a modern definition of the word and apply it to a 400-year-old and a 600-year-old translation of the Bible. That is illogical.

SHELDON COOPER: Um...

Penny mocks Sheldon.

PENNY: See, Sheldon? You could learn something from him.

Sheldon gives her a dirty look.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: Years ago, Sheldon, these are some things that science believed and taught: 1. the earth was flat; 2. only 1,100 stars; 3. earth sat on a large animal; 4. science was ignorant on the subject of invisible elements in creation; 5. all stars were the same; 6. light was fixed in a place; 7. air was weightless; 8. winds blew straight; 9. sick people must be bled (This is how one of the Presidents died.); 10. the ocean floor was flat; 11. oceans fed only by rivers and rain; 12. hands washed in still water.
This is what science knows today, and the Bible passage it is found in. Keep in mind that some of these passages were written 2,000 - 3,000 years ago: 1. the earth is a sphere (Isaiah 40:22); 2. incalculable number of stars (Jeremiah 33:22); 3. free float of earth in space (Job 26:7); 4. creation made of invisible elements – atoms (Hebrews 11:3); 5. each star is different (1 Corinthians 15:41); 6. light moves (Job 38:19-20); 7. air has weight (Job 28:25); 8. winds blow in cyclones (Ecclesiastes 1:6); 9. blood is the source of life and health (Leviticus 17:11); 10. ocean floor contains deep valleys and mountains (2 Samuel 22:16; Jonah 2:6); 11. ocean contains springs (Job 38:6); 12. when dealing with disease, hands should be washed under running water (Leviticus 15:13).

Chris pauses for effect.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: You don't have to believe what I believe, Sheldon, but as a scientist you cannot ignore the scientific method, the facts, or the evidence. We must differentiate between psuedo-science that passes itself off as "science," and real science that can be observed, measured, and tested.

Everyone looks at Sheldon.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: Anyway, it was great to meet you all, but I should get going. Thank you for dinner.

EVERYONE: You're welcome.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: It was a pleasure talking with you, Sheldon.

EVERYONE: It was?!?!?

Sheldon looks around at them in surprise, then speaks to Chris.

SHELDON COOPER: Thank you. And you've given me some things to think about.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: Well, I'm sure you're a far more intelligent man than I, but remember, intelligence doesn't mean right, nor does it mean wisdom. We can be very smart and yet still be wrong. All education serves to do is teach you how to think and believe the way your teacher or professor thinks and believes. It doesn't teach you how to think for yourself or how to think objectively or logically.

SHELDON COOPER: I've never thought of it that way before.

CHRIS CHRISTIAN: See you later.

Chris exits the apartment.

AMY FARRAH FOWLER: He was a pleasant guy.

BERNADETTE ROSTENKOWSKI: Yeah. We should invite him over more often.

LEONARD HOFSTADTER: I like him. He's fun.

RAJESH KOOTHRAPPALI: He raised a lot of interesting points.

HOWARD WOLOWITZ: And he shut Sheldon up for once.

Sheldon gives Howard an unimpressed look.

PENNY: Yeah. Silenced him pretty good. And that's hard to do.

Sheldon gives her the same look.

SHELDON COOPER: I always thought Christians were religious nuts like my mom, but there's something completely different about him. He's not like my mom at all. I never thought I could have an intelligent conversation with a religious person. Turns out I was wrong.

During the groups further encounters with Chris, they talk more about historical, archaeological, and scientific evidence, and how the Bible is the only reliable book that hangs its credibility on its ability to write history in advance...without any error! Chris doesn't press his beliefs on them, but when Sheldon finally asks what makes him so different from his mother, Chris responds with this:
In life, you will be faced with a great deal of decisions you must make, but none is as important as your decision as to where your soul will spend eternity. Do you consider yourself to be a good person? The Dictionary defines “good” as being “morally perfect.” Let’s do a little test and see how you fair. How many lies have you told in your life? This includes fibs and "white lies." What do you call someone who lies? A liar. Ever stolen something? The size and value are irrelevant. What do you call someone who steals? A thief. Jesus said, “Whoever looks upon another person, to lust after them, has already committed adultery with them in their heart.” Have you ever looked with lust? By your own admission, you are a lying, thieving, adulterer at heart; and we’ve only looked at three of the Ten Commandments. That’s how God sees you: a lying, thieving, adulterer. The Bible says, “All liars, [thieves and adulterers] will have their place in the Lake of Fire.

Nothing is hid from God’s holy eyes. He sees your every thought and He will judge you accordingly. If you were to die today and stand before the Judgment Seat, would you be found innocent or guilty? Listen to your conscience. You know you would be guilty. Do you think you would go to Heaven or Hell? You would go to Hell. You may say to yourself, “But I tell God I am sorry for the things I do.” If you were in court because you just raped and murdered a young girl, no matter how truly sorry you were for your crimes, If the judge was a good judge he could not let you go just because you are sorry. You must be punished. The Bible says, “The soul that sins it shall die” and “The wages of sin is death.” God is infinitely more good and more just than any human judge and all sin is against Him. Because you have a conscience you have sinned with knowledge. Each time you told a lie or stole or looked with lust you knew you were doing wrong.
God is infinitely holy, infinitely perfect, and infinitely righteous. In order for you to enter Heaven, you must have a holiness, perfection, and righteousness equal to that of God’s. You may say to yourself, “But I go to church; I give to this charity; I do all these good things.” The Bible says, “All our righteous deeds are as a filthy rag.” You have sinned against an infinitely holy God. By good works shall no man be saved. You will spend an eternity in Hell, eternally separated from God and His goodness, suffering in constant reminder of your sins for all eternity. Because of your sin, God’s anger and wrath abides on you.

But, there is good news. Imagine you are standing in front of a judge, guilty of multiple serious crimes. All the evidence has been presented and there is no doubt about your guilt. Your apologies and good works cannot erase your crimes; therefore you must be punished. The fine for your crime is $50,000 or imprisonment, but you do not have two pennies to rub together. The judge is about to pass sentence when someone you do not even know steps in and pays your fine for you! The court accepts the money and declares that you are free to go. The law has been satisfied, your debt has been paid in full, and the stranger's sacrifice was a demonstration of his love for you. That is what God did for you 2000 years ago.

It is not God’s will that you should perish. He is rich with mercy. That is why He sent Jesus Christ, His only Son—God in the flesh—to condemn sin in the flesh by living an absolutely perfect life. Through Jesus Christ, God has provided a way for you to be forgiven. Jesus Christ took the punishment for your sins. The Bible says, “God demonstrated His love toward us, in that, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” The cup Christ prayed three times that God the Father would let pass from Him contained all the wrath, anger, and hatred of Almighty God toward sinners. He bore your sins on His body upon a cross that was meant for you. Jesus Christ laid His life down and died for your sins. The Bible says, “The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” Jesus Christ will provide us with a holiness, perfection, and righteousness that is equal to that of God’s – if we but believe. All you need to do is repent of your sins and turn to God, believing in what Christ accomplished on the cross. To repent is to have a change of mind about sin and about God, and it means to turn from your sins and to turn to God.

This is the good news of the Bible, the Gospel. If you do not set your soul right with God, you will be without excuse and you will die in your sins and you will spend an eternity in Hell. If I don’t believe in Mac Trucks and I stand out on the freeway, it will not change reality. You could leave here today and be struck by another car and instantly killed. Then it will be too late. Where will you spend eternity? If this concerns you, you may pray something like this: “Dear God, I know that I am a sinner deserving of eternal punishment for the sin I’ve committed against You. I repent of my sins (name them), turning from them and to You. This day I put my trust in Jesus Christ as my Saviour and make Him Lord of my Life. Reveal Yourself in me. Please take away the sins from your servant, forgive me, and grant me your gift of everlasting life. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.” Then go home, read your Bible every day and obey what it says. Earnestly seek God and wait for Him to reveal Himself in you.