Monday, December 10, 2012

A 'Love Triangle' Is Not Quickly Broken

The following is a speech that I delivered back in 2005 at Bible College for my Speech Communications class. Sadly, after I had given this speech, the majority of my fellow students began to back-bite about me, saying that I only spoke on this subject in order to get a wife. This was not the case, however, as I was at least seven years older than most of them and had no interest in any of them. My purpose for giving this speech was two-fold: (1) to glorify God, and (2) to hopefully prevent my fellow students from becoming part of the great statistic of divorce. Only three students, that I know of, were listening to my speech and had been affected by it. Two, a couple that split up afterwards, came up to me individually to thank me for my words as it saved them a great deal of problems and pain. May it be a blessing for you, too.

A speech doesn't have to be something that you have experience in. It can simply be something that you are passionate about. For that reason, I have decided to speak on a subject that each of us will one day face, should the Lord tarry. I have titled my speech, "A 'Love Triangle' Is Not Quickly Broken."

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, 12
Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.
For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.
And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 NIV
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
  1. What is the Great Romance?
  2. The Great Romance confronts us with the eternal ideals.
    1. Love
    2. Beauty
    3. Hope
    The greatest gifts. The very heart of God.
  3. Why do we love beautiful flowers?
    Because we love beauty. We were created to love beauty. We love _____ because God loves _____.
    1. Beauty
    2. Song
    3. Love
    4. To be loved
  4. The Great Romance is...
    1. About God's love for us and our love for Him. About that same love expressed between us—between a man and a woman; husband and wife.
  1. What is Love?
    1. It's not based on emotion or feelings.
    2. It's not a feeling.
    3. It's a choice.
    Since love is based on the will (on our ability to choose) and not emotions, our love should last a lifetime. A decision is a stronger and firmer foundation for our love than emotions. Emotions come and go.
    God himself chose to love the world. I am convinced that he did not feel pleasure about offering His only Son as a blood sacrifice to prove His love for us. God's love was firmly rooted in choice, not feeling. If we choose to love as God has chosen to, then a man and a woman will stick together through all of life's storms.
All throughout God's Word He says to us:
I love you. I choose you. I rescue you. I cherish you. You are precious to me. You are my very own. Never leave me.
He wants us to repeat those exact same words back to Him. In fact, He wants us to say those words to each other in marriage—continuously.

The Great Romance started back in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve. God loved them and they reciprocated His love. In that same way, they loved each other. The Great Romance was not just about the Garden of Eden, however. In the Old Testament, the nation of Israel is the bride. In the New Testament, the church is the bride. The Great Romance began in the Garden; continued at the cross with Christ giving His life for us; and will blossom at the Second Coming. Jesus Christ showed us His love by giving His life for us and He wants us to love Him in return. At this very moment, Christ is wooing His bride. Imagine Him standing before us saying:
I love you. I choose you. I rescue you. I cherish you. You are precious to me. You are my very own. Never leave me.
The Garden of Eden is a picture of the manner in which God designed marriage to be. Marriage is a love triangle. It is not merely between a man and a woman, but between a man, a woman, and God. A threefold union.

I believe that the purpose of marriage is three-fold, like God Himself is three-fold.
    1. Marriage forms a unit (Matthew 19:6, "They are no longer two but one flesh.").
    2. Marriage seeks progeny (Malachi 2:15 NIV, "Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth." Genesis 1:28a, "And God blessed them, and God said to them, 'Be fruitful and multiply.'").
    3. Marriage forms a picture of Christ (Ephesians 5:25, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.").
  1. Three main factors required for a great marriage
  2. These were in perfect unison in the Garden of Eden. If any one of these is missing, your marriage will be hanging on by a thread.
    1. Communication:
      1. We need to learn to communicate fully and effectively.
      2. From our accomplishments/struggles to our strengths/weaknesses.
      3. We need to communicate everything.
      4. You cannot grow closer to one another if you do not learn to communicate.
      5. The greatest benefit in your communication will be the ability...
        • To quickly apologize if you have erred, and
        • To quickly forgive if the other person has erred
    2. Trust and Honesty:
      We need to learn to trust each other and to be entirely honest with each other. If we are honest in everything we do, it will be simple for the other person to trust us. If you truly care about the other person, reveal yourself to them. Don't be afraid to be who God designed you to be.
    3. Faith in God:
      We need to have faith in God because we will inevitably run into problems in our marriages that we think are impossible to either overcome or repair. The Bible says that "What is impossible with men is possible with God." There is nothing too big for God to handle. In marriage, if both of you are looking to the Lord, there is absolutely no problem that the three of you cannot overcome.
Marriage is a very sacred and binding institution. We need to take it very seriously. If God is not the primary focus for our marriages, then we should not get married. The Great Romance is all about God's love for us and our love for Him, as well as that same love expressed between a man and a woman; husband and wife. The closer you grow to God, the closer you will grow to each other. The tighter you are bound to each other, there is not an obstacle that cannot be overcome. "A threefold cord is not quickly broken."