Monday, September 1, 2014


The definition of "honeymoon" is as follows:
  1. a period of harmony immediately following marriage
  2. a period of unusual harmony especially following the establishment of a new relationship
  3. a trip or vacation taken by a newly married couple
While today, the term "honeymoon" has a positive meaning, the word was originally a reference to the inevitable waning of love like a phase of the moon. The term originally described the period just after the wedding when things are at their sweetest; it is assumed (note the word "assumed" here) to wane in a month. The "honeymoon" was the period when newly wed couples would take a break to share some private and intimate moments that help establish love in their relationship. This privacy in turn is believed to ease the comfort zone towards physical relationship, which is one of the primary means of bonding during the initial days of marriage.

Typically, the excitement of love in a marriage is at its highest peak at the beginning of a marriage, and then love "settles in" and begins to wane to something consistent (not high, not low). While this is true of most marriages, it is not necessarily the rule for all marriages. For Christians, the more they seek Jesus and find their fulfillment in Him and in each other, the excitement and height of love can remain for years and years. It is not unheard of to see couples in their later years, having been married for 30 or 40 years, still having the same spark as they had when they were younger. This is the kind of marriage I desire for myself, and I will work toward it each day.

If we examine marriage and "honeymoons" back in the early 1900s, 1800s, and earlier, people could not afford the luxurious and lavish expensive vacations and holidays that married couples typically take today. After they married, there was one of three things that happened.
  1. They would travel around, sometimes accompanied by friends or family, to visit relatives who were unable to attend the wedding.
  2. They would travel to a nearby city and spend a few days at the local hotel.
  3. They would return to their new home to begin their life together.
In the mid-1900s, married couples would leave midway through the reception to catch a late train or ship. Today, many couples will not leave until 1–3 days after the ceremony and reception in order to tie up loose ends and/or simply enjoy the reception to its fullest and have a relaxing night afterwards to recover, before undertaking a long journey. In fact, it is not unheard of today for many couples to postpone their honeymoon for many months or years because they cannot afford to take a vacation or holiday (or their jobs get in the way and they cannot get the time off to do so).

Today, couples will spend over $10,000 on their wedding day and honeymoon vacation (a down payment on a house) only to end up fighting about money problems for the next three to five years and end up divorcing because they were constantly fighting about money problems. The traditions that we see in marriages and honeymoons today were never traditional 100 years ago. Marriage and honeymoons have become money-making schemes (as well as funerals), and people have ignorantly bought into the foolishness of modern traditions. I have talked to several couples who have gotten married for under $2,000 (in both Canada and the USA). That is also without anybody else contributing anything. The wedding receptions back in the early 1900's and 1800's and earlier were basically potlucks. All the guests would bring something and everybody would enjoy a common meal together. Today, guests mooch off the newly wed bride and groom, expecting them to pay for their meal. Whatever happened to friends and family supporting the newly wed couple so that they did not start their new life broke?!? In fact, whatever happened to friends and family supporting the newly wed couple in any capacity? Nobody cares about the struggles others go through any more. The love of people sure has grown cold...

Whether other people like your wedding and reception or not is of little consequence. It does not matter whether they enjoy it or not. It is not for or about them. It is for and about you (plural, meaning both husband and wife–it is not "her day" alone)! If they think it is the most boring and uneventful wedding in the history of weddings, that is their problem. Not yours. Watch older movies from like 50 years ago and watch how weddings were done in those days. They were nothing like you and I see today in our cultures. We need to smarten up and use our heads when planning our weddings and honeymoons. There is no need to spend exorbitant amounts of money on both. You need that money to start your life together. Use it wisely!