My fiancee and I were discussing adultery one night. We both know that divorce is not an option (Malachi 2:3-6; Matthew 19:4-6; Mark 10:7-9), and that if we were to separate, we are commanded to either reconcile or remain single for the rest of our lives (1 Corinthians 7:10-11, 39; Romans 7:2-3). We addressed the fact that, just like David, neither of us is above falling into this sin because every one of us has the capacity to commit this sin. This is why we need to guard our hearts and protect the sanctity of our marriage, not allowing ourselves to be placed in compromising situations (1 Thessalonians 5:22) that could open us to temptation and lead us into sin (James 1:14-15), thereby defiling the marriage bed (Hebrews 13:4; Proverbs 6:32).
My fiancee had said that if I were to commit adultery, she could forgive me but she would leave and never return. Sadly, this tends to be our natural human response. I pointed out to her that if that were her response, then she would not have truly forgiven me. She would only be telling herself that she has forgiven me in order to appease her own conscience.
I illustrated to her that if she committed adultery against me, it would indeed hurt me, I would indeed be angry, and it would indeed be difficult to trust her again—but not impossible. As much as her adultery would hurt me, if I consider all the heinous sins I have committed against Jesus, minute after minute, day after day, year after year, how much pain did I cause Christ? How much pain did He feel on His way to the cross because of my sins? How much pain did He feel when God’s wrath was poured on Him because of my sins? If Christ can forgive me of all my sins against Him, then surely I can forgive my spouse for committing adultery against me. If I am to be anything like Christ, I must.
Jesus said that if we have anything against our brother, we need to go and be reconciled to him (Matthew 5:23-24). In order to be reconciled to him, there must be forgiveness. If there is forgiveness, there will be reconciliation. The two go hand in hand. Jesus said that we must forgive 70 multiplied by 7 times (Matthew 18:22), which means there should be no end to our forgiveness. If we are genuinely forgiving, then there will be reconciliation because that is what forgiveness does—it reconciles.
I explained that when Jesus forgives us, we are reconciled to the Father (Romans 5:10; 2 Corinthians 5:18). If we were not reconciled to the Father, then we would not truly have forgiveness. The same is true within marriage. If either of us committed adultery against the other, genuine forgiveness would and must result in reconciliation. If we are who and what we claim to be—Christians, and if we desire to be like Christ, then this is a command for us. We need to think of Christ, think like Christ, and act like Christ.
Marriage is a picture of the Gospel. The Gospel teaches us that despite all our sins we can have forgiveness through Jesus Christ (Ephesians 1:7; Colossians 1:14) and reconciliation to God the Father (Romans 5:10; 2 Corinthians 5:18). What does it say to the world about the Gospel of Jesus Christ if a married couple cannot forgive and be reconciled to each other? Forgiveness means reconciliation. Anyone who does not believe this does not believe the Gospel.
Even with the sin of adultery, husband and wife can forgive and be reconciled and the marriage can be healed and prosper. Harmony can be restored and the home can be rebuilt. These are the works of God. This is the power of God. If we are Christians and if we are Christ-like, these are our works because we are the image of Christ. Even if adultery took place, we are commanded to forgive and to be reconciled because of what marriage pictures and represents.
It is my prayer that the enemy, the devil, would not be granted a foothold in my marriage in order to try and destroy it. It is my prayer that God would guard my fiancee and I and to protect our hearts, drawing us ever closer to Himself and to each other. It is my prayer that we would build a strong marriage, a strong love, a strong life, a strong family, and a strong home together, built upon our Rock, Jesus Christ.
My fiancee had said that if I were to commit adultery, she could forgive me but she would leave and never return. Sadly, this tends to be our natural human response. I pointed out to her that if that were her response, then she would not have truly forgiven me. She would only be telling herself that she has forgiven me in order to appease her own conscience.
I illustrated to her that if she committed adultery against me, it would indeed hurt me, I would indeed be angry, and it would indeed be difficult to trust her again—but not impossible. As much as her adultery would hurt me, if I consider all the heinous sins I have committed against Jesus, minute after minute, day after day, year after year, how much pain did I cause Christ? How much pain did He feel on His way to the cross because of my sins? How much pain did He feel when God’s wrath was poured on Him because of my sins? If Christ can forgive me of all my sins against Him, then surely I can forgive my spouse for committing adultery against me. If I am to be anything like Christ, I must.
Jesus said that if we have anything against our brother, we need to go and be reconciled to him (Matthew 5:23-24). In order to be reconciled to him, there must be forgiveness. If there is forgiveness, there will be reconciliation. The two go hand in hand. Jesus said that we must forgive 70 multiplied by 7 times (Matthew 18:22), which means there should be no end to our forgiveness. If we are genuinely forgiving, then there will be reconciliation because that is what forgiveness does—it reconciles.
I explained that when Jesus forgives us, we are reconciled to the Father (Romans 5:10; 2 Corinthians 5:18). If we were not reconciled to the Father, then we would not truly have forgiveness. The same is true within marriage. If either of us committed adultery against the other, genuine forgiveness would and must result in reconciliation. If we are who and what we claim to be—Christians, and if we desire to be like Christ, then this is a command for us. We need to think of Christ, think like Christ, and act like Christ.
Marriage is a picture of the Gospel. The Gospel teaches us that despite all our sins we can have forgiveness through Jesus Christ (Ephesians 1:7; Colossians 1:14) and reconciliation to God the Father (Romans 5:10; 2 Corinthians 5:18). What does it say to the world about the Gospel of Jesus Christ if a married couple cannot forgive and be reconciled to each other? Forgiveness means reconciliation. Anyone who does not believe this does not believe the Gospel.
Even with the sin of adultery, husband and wife can forgive and be reconciled and the marriage can be healed and prosper. Harmony can be restored and the home can be rebuilt. These are the works of God. This is the power of God. If we are Christians and if we are Christ-like, these are our works because we are the image of Christ. Even if adultery took place, we are commanded to forgive and to be reconciled because of what marriage pictures and represents.
It is my prayer that the enemy, the devil, would not be granted a foothold in my marriage in order to try and destroy it. It is my prayer that God would guard my fiancee and I and to protect our hearts, drawing us ever closer to Himself and to each other. It is my prayer that we would build a strong marriage, a strong love, a strong life, a strong family, and a strong home together, built upon our Rock, Jesus Christ.