Far too frequently have I encountered individuals online who incorrectly refer to the passage in Ephesians dealing with marriage and the home. They deliberately misquote it and twist Scripture to say something it clearly does not say. The ones most guilty of this offense tend to be Liberals, who are frequently in rebellion against what Scripture teaches and commands. These Scripture-twisting individuals who deliberately ignore context quote the Ephesians passage as such:
21and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. 22Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. 25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; 26that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless. 28So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30because we are members of His body. 31FOR THIS CAUSE A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER, AND SHALL CLEAVE TO HIS WIFE; AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. 32This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. 33Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband.
What is wrong with these people quoting Scripture in this way? Verse 21 has absolutely nothing to do with the context of the passage on marriage and the home (verses 22-33). Verse 21 ends several passages addressing the church and how the Christian ought to walk and be an imitator of God. The church is supposed to "submit to one another in the fear of God" (v. 21)—not husbands and wives to each other. In the hierarchy of the family, only the wife is to submit herself to her husband, "as the church submits to Christ" (v. 24). She is to do so "as to the Lord" (v. 22). The only time she is not to do so, but to still honour and respect her husband (v. 33), is where sin is concerned (e.g., if he wants her to do something that is clearly against God's commands). Her first obedience is to God. The same concept applies to children. Children are to obey their parents, except where sin is concerned. But they are still to honour and respect their parents. Their first obedience is to God as well. A good husband will consult his wife for her wise counsel, including her in the decision making process, but ultimately the final decision is his to make—for good or bad—and he will be held accountable before God for it. She should not try and usurp this position from her husband because then she will be held accountable before God. In every area of life there is a hierarchy of authority. Would you, as a low-end employee, want to be held accountable to the manager or CEO for a decision that was made by your supervisor? Would you, as a soldier, want to be held accountable to the General or Commander-in-Chief for a decision that was made by your commanding officer? Would you, as a student, want to be held accountable to the principal or the school board for a decision that was made by your teacher? Hierarchy exists everywhere. Within God Himself (Father, Son, Holy Spirit); within the angels; and within the family.
Why do these so-called "Christians" deliberately misquote this passage? Because they are disobedient and rebellious, and rather than obey God and what He has commanded in Scripture, they want the husband to have to submit to his wife, which is entirely unbiblical. That is like requiring God the Father to submit to God the Son, or parents to submit to their children. It is a deliberate rearranging of the hierarchy established by God for authority and accountability. The concern and argument regarding an abusive husband is without foundation. Verses 22-24 and 33 address the wife, while verses 25-31 and 33 address the husband. This passage, as well as others, does not allow for a tyrannical husband who abuses the authority given him by God. Any husband who attempts to use such passages incorrectly by misquoting them—quoting only the parts that address the wife while glossing over or skipping the ones addressing himself—is being disobedient and rebellious. In such cases, the wife is allowed to separate from her husband with the goal of reconciliation in mind once he gets help and submits to the Lord as he ought to do.
The passage in Ephesians on marriage and the home is correctly quoted when it looks thus:
22Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. 25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; 26that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless. 28So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30because we are members of His body. 31FOR THIS CAUSE A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER, AND SHALL CLEAVE TO HIS WIFE; AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. 32This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. 33Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband.
Any attempt at inclusion of verse 21 is Scripture twisting and the individuals who do such have an agenda to get others to rebel and be disobedient toward God and His Word. Be obedient toward God and content with the position He has given you.