"If
anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his
cross and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it;
but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it." Matthew 16:24-25
If
God has called you to be truly like Jesus, He will draw you into a life
of crucifixion and humility. He will put on you such demands of
obedience, that you will not be allowed to follow other Christians. In
many ways, He seems to let other believers do things which He will not
let you do.
Others
who seem to be very religious and useful, may push themselves up to be
admired, and scheme to carry out their plans, but you cannot. If you
attempt it, you will meet with such failure and rebuke from the Lord as
to make you sorely penitent.
Others
can brag about themselves, their work, their successes, but the Holy
Spirit will not allow you to do any such thing. If you begin to do so,
He will lead you into some deep mortification that will make you despise
yourself and all your good works.
Others
will be allowed to succeed in making great sums of money, or in having a
legacy left to them, or in having luxuries, but God may supply you only
on a day-to-day basis, because He wants you to have something far
better than gold—a helpless dependence on Him and His unseen treasury.
The
Lord may let others be honored and put forward, while keeping you
hidden in obscurity, because He wants to produce some choice, fragrant
fruit in you, which can only be produced in the shade.
God
may let others be great, but He will keep you small. He will let others
do a work for Him and get the credit, but He will make you work and
toil without others knowing how much you are doing. Then, to make your
work still more precious, He will let others get the credit for the work
which you have done. This to teach you the message of the Cross and
humility.
The
Holy Spirit will put a strict watch on you, and with a jealous love
rebuke you for careless words and feelings, or for wasting your time,
which other Christians never seem distressed over.
So
make up your mind that God is an infinite Sovereign and has a right to
do as He pleases with His own and that He may not explain to you a
thousand things which may puzzle your reason in His dealings with you.
If
you absolutely give yourself to be His slave, He will wrap you up in a
jealous love and let other Christian people say and do many things which
you cannot.
However,
know this great secret of the Kingdom: When you are so completely
possessed with the living God that you are, in your secret heart,
pleased and delighted over this peculiar, personal, private, jealous
guardianship and management of the Holy Spirit over your life, then you
will have found the vestibule of Heaven, the high calling of God.