"But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." 1 Timothy 5:8
This verse was thrown at me by an "elder" at a Reformed "church." In fact, most people have the idea that this verse is speaking about getting or having a job and supporting your family. Several even use it as a proof-text for the man being the sole breadwinner of the family. Let me ask you a simple question. What is the context of this verse? Go on, read it. I'll wait.
"Do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather appeal to him as a father, to the younger men as brothers, the older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters, in all purity.You cannot lift a single verse out of its context and force it to say something that it does not say! *cough* Mr. de Boer! *cough* Reformed individuals are no better at paying attention to the context of Scripture than any other denomination. The main reason for the poor understanding and interpretation of Scripture across every denomination is due to the addition and existence of chapters and verses. I get that they help you reference smaller portions of Scripture (why they were created in the first place), and I get that they help you memorize Scripture (though frequently taken out of context and misapplied). However, when they are absent from the text, it is harder for you to mangle the text because you are forced to pay attention to the context of what is being said. You do not have distracting chapters and verses falsely telling you that this ends here and this starts here and this verse stands alone.
Honor widows who are widows indeed; but if any widow has children or grandchildren, they must first learn to practice piety in regard to their own family and to make some return to their parents; for this is acceptable in the sight of God. Now she who is a widow indeed and who has been left alone, has fixed her hope on God and continues in entreaties and prayers night and day. But she who gives herself to wanton pleasure is dead even while she lives. Prescribe these things as well, so that they may be above reproach. But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
A widow is to be put on the list only if she is not less than sixty years old, having been the wife of one man, having a reputation for good works; and if she has brought up children, if she has shown hospitality to strangers, if she has washed the saints' feet, if she has assisted those in distress, and if she has devoted herself to every good work. But refuse to put younger widows on the list, for when they feel sensual desires in disregard of Christ, they want to get married, thus incurring condemnation, because they have set aside their previous pledge. At the same time they also learn to be idle, as they go around from house to house; and not merely idle, but also gossips and busybodies, talking about things not proper to mention. Therefore, I want younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house, and give the enemy no occasion for reproach; for some have already turned aside to follow Satan. If any woman who is a believer has dependent widows, she must assist them and the church must not be burdened, so that it may assist those who are widows indeed." 1 Timothy 5:1-16
This entire passage of Scripture is speaking about widows and those who should take care of them. With that understanding, what precisely is verse 8 saying? Wow! Look at that! It takes on an entire different meaning when you actually pay attention to and understand the context. Mr. de Boer needs to take a good hard look at himself in the mirror. He is the kind of religious elitist and hypocrite that Jesus constantly confronted and mocked.