The answer to this question is a resounding "NO!" Anyone who says otherwise is self-deceived. Men and women have nothing in common. There are only two reasons why men and women would hang around each other:
I worked with a guy in the past, who was not a Christian, and we talked at length about some of these things and were in total agreement. He shared some stories about conversations he had had with his wife, and with his wife and her girl friends. Many of his wife's girl friends thought there was absolutely nothing wrong with women having guy friends. He explained to them otherwise, but they did not want to believe it. He informed these women that if they were at home and sent their husbands and/or children out of the house for a time, called up any one of their guy friends, invited him over into their home, strip naked, bent over the table and told him to have sex with them, that he guaranteed that unless the man was gay, there was well over a 90% chance that the guy would have sex with them right there and then. And it is true. Any honest man in tune with his sinful tendencies and temptations will admit to it. But do not think that women, especially in today's world, are any better. Woman in today's world , sadly, will often have sex with any guy if the price is right.
This man's wife had one guy friend who always hung out with her and she never saw anything wrong with it. The one day, he told his wife that the only reason this guy hung around her so much, even though he knew she was married, was because he wanted her for himself. She denied this to be the case and he challenged her to ask him. She did not want to ask her friend this for fear of losing the friendship. Nevertheless, she ended up asking him why he hangs around her all the time. His answer? "Because I want you to leave your husband and be with me." The friendship ended soon after that, just as it should have.
As it was clearly and truthfully put forth in the movie When Harry Met Sally, "Men and women can't be friends because the sex part gets in the way." One of them is always secretly attracted to the other, even when that other person is in a committed relationship. Even if you decided to choose people you were in no way attracted to, there is no guarantee that they will not be attracted to you, which tends to be the case more often than not. People with opposite sex friends tend to become less satisfied with their current committed relationship, which inevitably leads to cheating on their partner or committing adultery. Most men often misread women's friendly signals as invitations for sex while most women are often shocked when a male "friend" comes on to them sexually. Recent trends, such as "friends with benefits" and "hooking up", acknowledge the sexual gravity that exists within opposite sex relationships. This, in turn, allows many people to be "friends" without pretending that the sexual elephant is not in the room or to simply have casual sex.
The place where I work currently (when I first started working there), there is a man and a woman who, based on the amount of time they spend together and how they act around each other, I would have sworn were a couple. It turns out that this woman, who professes to be a Christian, is married and this man is either married or will soon be married. Nevertheless, anyone who knows this information about them and sees how they act around each other will conclude one of three scenarios; either:
If the wife is not home and one of her girl friends comes over to see her, the husband should not invite her into the home or leave the home and go somewhere with her. He does not know if his wife's friend secretly has a crush on him. He does not know if her friend will make up lies and say he raped her. Others who see this will surely think that he is cheating on his wife, even if nothing actually happens. The same is true vice versa. If the man is not home and one of his guy friends comes over to see him, the wife should not invite him into the home or leave the home and go somewhere with him. She does not know if her husband's friend secretly has a crush on her. She does not know if he will try and rape her. Others who see this will surely think that she is cheating on her husband, even if nothing actually happens. Luckily, opposite sex friendships tend to die off after marriage, which is a good thing. Any man or woman who desperately wants to keep such friendships is doing so out of selfish motives, keeping "backup" around just in case things go sour. It is pretty much pre-meditated adultery at this point.
The sanctity of marriage needs to be guarded at all costs. "Avoid all appearance of evil" (1 Thess. 5:22), and "flee from youthful lusts" (2 Tim. 2:22a). Learn the lesson of Joseph with Potiphar's wife (Gen. 39:6c-23). "Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men, but as wise, ... because the days are evil" (Eph. 5:15-16).
- One of them is secretly attracted to the other person and desires to be in a relationship with him/her, or
- Both of them are satisfying completely selfish motives (e.g., drunks like to drink with other drunks simply because it validates their drinking).
I worked with a guy in the past, who was not a Christian, and we talked at length about some of these things and were in total agreement. He shared some stories about conversations he had had with his wife, and with his wife and her girl friends. Many of his wife's girl friends thought there was absolutely nothing wrong with women having guy friends. He explained to them otherwise, but they did not want to believe it. He informed these women that if they were at home and sent their husbands and/or children out of the house for a time, called up any one of their guy friends, invited him over into their home, strip naked, bent over the table and told him to have sex with them, that he guaranteed that unless the man was gay, there was well over a 90% chance that the guy would have sex with them right there and then. And it is true. Any honest man in tune with his sinful tendencies and temptations will admit to it. But do not think that women, especially in today's world, are any better. Woman in today's world , sadly, will often have sex with any guy if the price is right.
This man's wife had one guy friend who always hung out with her and she never saw anything wrong with it. The one day, he told his wife that the only reason this guy hung around her so much, even though he knew she was married, was because he wanted her for himself. She denied this to be the case and he challenged her to ask him. She did not want to ask her friend this for fear of losing the friendship. Nevertheless, she ended up asking him why he hangs around her all the time. His answer? "Because I want you to leave your husband and be with me." The friendship ended soon after that, just as it should have.
As it was clearly and truthfully put forth in the movie When Harry Met Sally, "Men and women can't be friends because the sex part gets in the way." One of them is always secretly attracted to the other, even when that other person is in a committed relationship. Even if you decided to choose people you were in no way attracted to, there is no guarantee that they will not be attracted to you, which tends to be the case more often than not. People with opposite sex friends tend to become less satisfied with their current committed relationship, which inevitably leads to cheating on their partner or committing adultery. Most men often misread women's friendly signals as invitations for sex while most women are often shocked when a male "friend" comes on to them sexually. Recent trends, such as "friends with benefits" and "hooking up", acknowledge the sexual gravity that exists within opposite sex relationships. This, in turn, allows many people to be "friends" without pretending that the sexual elephant is not in the room or to simply have casual sex.
The place where I work currently (when I first started working there), there is a man and a woman who, based on the amount of time they spend together and how they act around each other, I would have sworn were a couple. It turns out that this woman, who professes to be a Christian, is married and this man is either married or will soon be married. Nevertheless, anyone who knows this information about them and sees how they act around each other will conclude one of three scenarios; either:
- They are currently in an adulterous affair together, or
- One or both of them secretly wants to be in an adulterous affair with the other, or
- If they are not careful, when major problems arise at home with their spouses, they will inevitably find themselves in each others arms committing adultery in the near future.
If the wife is not home and one of her girl friends comes over to see her, the husband should not invite her into the home or leave the home and go somewhere with her. He does not know if his wife's friend secretly has a crush on him. He does not know if her friend will make up lies and say he raped her. Others who see this will surely think that he is cheating on his wife, even if nothing actually happens. The same is true vice versa. If the man is not home and one of his guy friends comes over to see him, the wife should not invite him into the home or leave the home and go somewhere with him. She does not know if her husband's friend secretly has a crush on her. She does not know if he will try and rape her. Others who see this will surely think that she is cheating on her husband, even if nothing actually happens. Luckily, opposite sex friendships tend to die off after marriage, which is a good thing. Any man or woman who desperately wants to keep such friendships is doing so out of selfish motives, keeping "backup" around just in case things go sour. It is pretty much pre-meditated adultery at this point.
The sanctity of marriage needs to be guarded at all costs. "Avoid all appearance of evil" (1 Thess. 5:22), and "flee from youthful lusts" (2 Tim. 2:22a). Learn the lesson of Joseph with Potiphar's wife (Gen. 39:6c-23). "Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men, but as wise, ... because the days are evil" (Eph. 5:15-16).