"Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, 'Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?'
He answered and said, 'Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE, and said, "FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH"? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.'
They said to Him, 'Why then did Moses command to GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE AND SEND HER AWAY?'
He said to them, 'Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for fornication, and marries another woman commits adultery.'
The disciples said to Him, 'If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.'
But He said to them, 'Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it.'" Matthew 19:3-12
There were two schools of thought during Jesus' day. The school of thought from Jewish rabbi Hillel believed that a man could divorce his wife for any reason. This was derived from Deuteronomy 24:1 where it says, "...she finds no favor in his eyes..." The school of thought from Jewish rabbi Shammai believed that a man could only divorce his wife for the cause of adultery. This was derived from Deuteronomy 24:1 where it says, "...he has found some uncleanness in her..." These Pharisees were tempting Jesus, testing Him so that they could trap Him and turn one of these groups against Him.
Pharisees: Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?
Jesus: Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE, and said, "FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH"? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.
Jesus answered the Pharisees by asking them, "Have you not read...?" He went to the source of authority on marriage, which is the Word of God. Scripture is our final authority! "From the beginning..." Jesus directed them to creation, where the first marriage was instituted. At creation, God made two from the one, taking woman from man, and then He joined the two into one, making the two one flesh. "What God has joined together, let not man separate." Not even the government! Have you ever noticed that when you want to get married you go to a church, but when you want to get divorced you do not? You have to go to the government, and not even the government has the authority to annul a marriage.
Pharisees: Why then did Moses command to GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE AND SEND HER AWAY?
Jesus: Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for fornication, and marries another woman commits adultery.
"From the beginning it has not been this way." Jesus once again directed them to creation, the very beginning with the first marriage. The Rule is this: "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery." The Exception is this: "Except
for fornication." Fornication is pre-marital sex. In order to understand the exception, and what fornication truly is, we need to examine Deuteronomy 22:13-21 and Matthew 1:18-25. What is the man in Deuteronomy 22 accusing his wife of? Pre-marital sex. Fornication. Why did Joseph want to divorce Mary, even though they were only betrothed and not yet married? Because he thought she had committed pre-marital sex. Fornication. According to Jesus, had this been the case, Joseph would have been justified in divorcing Mary.
Disciples: If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.
Jesus: Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it.
"If it is like this, it is better not to marry." The disciples understood precisely what it was Jesus was saying. Like most people today, they thought Jesus was being awfully strict; that it was very difficult and unfair. "Not all men can accept this
statement." Which statement? The one that the disciples had just uttered. By "eunuchs" Jesus means people who remain sexually inactive, who cannot engage in the intimacies of marriage. "He who is
able to accept this, let him accept it." Accept what? That it is better not to marry if you cannot divorce your spouse for any reason.
Let us address some common errors that people, even well meaning people, Christian people, believe and teach though they are contrary to the Word of God.
ERROR #1: Baptism washes away unscriptural marriages. This belief teaches that if someone entered into an adulterous marriage before he/she became a Christian, after he/she was baptized then the marriage is cleansed and therefore becomes an acceptable marriage. Let us apply this false reasoning to some other marriages. Does baptism somehow change a homosexual marriage or polygamous marriage into an acceptable marriage? No, it does not! Repentance needs to be present.
ERROR #2: Non-Christians are not amenable to the law of Christ. This belief teaches that marriages before becoming a Christian are irrelevant, even if you have been involved in numerous adulterous marriages. God's law of marriage does not become applicable only when you become a Christian! "Therefore having overlooked the times of ignorance, God is now declaring to men that all people everywhere should repent" (Acts 17:30). God's law applies to everyone! All men are amenable to the law of Christ! Read 1 Corinthians 6:9-11. Even before they were Christians, they were "adulterers." That means God's marriage law applied to them.
ERROR #3: If one party in the marriage commits fornication, then both parties are free to remarry. This belief teaches that both the innocent party and the guilty party are free to remarry after a divorce due to fornication, but this is not taught anywhere in the Bible. Matthew 19 is written in such a way that it releases the innocent party while binding the guilty party. The guilty party is not free to remarry.
ERROR #4: If children are involved, God will allow an unscriptural marriage. When children are involved, it does make it more difficult from an emotional standpoint, but it does not change the fact that the marriage is unscriptural and unlawful. Some people argue that a home, a family, should not be broken up. But is this biblical? It is not wrong to stop living in sin. In fact, it is a requirement! People involved in a remarriage that is not the result of death or fornication are living in a constant state of adultery, and cannot continue in that state with God's blessing. These people need to repent by ceasing the unscriptural marriage. If two homosexuals are married and one of them later becomes saved, he/she cannot remain in that unscriptural marriage. Divorcing in this case is not wrong because the marriage was not scriptural to begin with. In the Old Testament, God did not permit His people, the Israelites, to marry people from heathen nations. Read God's law in Deuteronomy 7:3-4, and then read His command in Ezra 10:10-11 after the Israelites had disobeyed His law: "Separate yourselves from the peoples of the land and from the foreign wives." Even though they had children with these heathen people, they were to separate themselves from them. Couples cannot remain in a relationship contrary to the will of God regardless of children being involved. The father should still look after his children because that is the right thing to do!
ERROR #5: You can divorce for any reason, with God's approval, as long as you do not remarry. This belief teaches that as long as you never remarry, you are free to divorce your spouse for any reason whatsoever. But this false idea violates every passage in Scripture. "What therefore God has joined together, let not man
separate." This includes yourself!
ERROR #6: A spouse who is abandoned is free from the marriage and has the right to remarry. This belief teaches that a person is free to remarry in the case of abandonment, and 1 Corinthians 7:15 is often cited as the proof text for it. But 1 Corinthians 7:15 does not teach this! "Not under bondage" does not mean you are free from the marriage. The ESV renders this as "is not enslaved." You are not a slave to your spouse. Be faithful to God. If the unbeliever wants to leave, let them leave because if you try to force them to stay, they will make your life a living hell, as Proverbs frequently describes. What do you do if your spouse abandons you? "But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife" (1 Cor. 7:10-11).
The Pharisees had asked Jesus, "For what reason can a man divorce his wife?" Jesus had replied, "What God has joined together, let not man separate." God's basic law of marriage is not difficult to understand. It says: Stay Married!