If you have had the chance to read either of my two books on this issue—Divorcing Divorce or The Bible on Divorce and Remarriage, you will notice from the following quotes from the early Church that for the first 200 years after the crucifixion of Christ Jesus, the Church taught the exact same thing that I teach from the Bible in my books. Once you hit the 4th century, however, their beliefs, teachings, and practices concerning marriage, divorce, and remarriage begin to get more convoluted and corrupt, aiming to please the flesh rather than answer to God.
According to all the passages pertaining to divorce, everyone (all 4 people) in a divorce-remarriage proceeding is said to be guilty of adultery. Take note that the adultery is taking place after the divorce through remarriage! It is not happening prior to divorce. (Matt. 5:32; 19:9; Mark 10:11-12; Luke 16:18). In other words, if your spouse has not died, then to remarry is to commit adultery. According to the middle voice of the Greek grammar, which is present tense continuous, you are in a constant state of adultery every second you remain in that unsanctioned second union.
Hermas“What then shall the husband do, if the wife continue in this disposition [adultery]? Let him divorce her, and let the husband remain single [1 Cor. 7:11a]. But if he divorce his wife and marry another, he too commits adultery [Matt. 19:9; Mark 10:11; Luke 16:18a]” (The Shepherd 4:1:6 [A.D. 80]).
Justin Martyr“In regard to chastity, [Jesus] has this to say: ‘If anyone look with lust at a woman, he has already before God committed adultery in his heart’ [Matt. 5:28]. And, ‘Whoever marries a woman who has been divorced from another husband, commits adultery’ [Matt. 5:32b; Luke 16:18b]. According to our Teacher, just as they are sinners who contract a second marriage, even though it be in accord with human law, so also are they sinners who look with lustful desire at a woman. He repudiates not only one who actually commits adultery, but even one who wishes to do so; for not only our actions are manifest to God, but even our thoughts” (First Apology 15 [A.D. 151]).
Clement of Alexandria“That Scripture counsels marriage, however, and never allows any release from the union, is expressly contained in the law: ‘You shall not divorce a wife, except for reason of immorality’ [Matt. 5:32a; 19:9]. And it regards as adultery the marriage of a spouse, while the one from whom a separation was made is still alive [Rom. 7:3a]. ‘Whoever takes a divorced woman as wife commits adultery,’ it says [Matt. 32b; Luke 16:18b]; for ‘if anyone divorce his wife, he debauches her’; that is, he compels her to commit adultery [Matt. 5:32a]. And not only does he that divorces her become the cause of this, but also he that takes the woman and gives her the opportunity of sinning; for if he did not take her, she would return to her husband” (Miscellanies 2:23:145:3 [A.D. 208]).
Origen“Just as a woman is an adulteress, even though she seem to be married to a man, while a former husband yet lives [Rom. 7:3a], so also the man who seems to marry her who has been divorced does not marry her, but, according to the declaration of our Savior, he commits adultery with her [Matt. 32b; Luke 16:18b]” (Commentaries on Matthew 14:24 [A.D. 248]).
Council of Elvira“Likewise, women who have left their husbands for no prior cause and have joined themselves with others, may not even at death receive Communion” (Canon 8 [A.D. 300]).
…
“Likewise, a woman of the faith [i.e., a baptized person] who has left an adulterous husband of the faith and marries another, her marrying in this manner is prohibited [Mark 10:12]. If she has so married, she may not receive Communion—unless he that she has left has since departed from this world [Rom. 7:3; 1 Cor. 7:39]” (Canon 9).
“If she whom a catechumen [an unbaptized person studying the faith] has left shall have married a husband, she is able to be admitted to the fountain of baptism. This shall also be observed in the instance where it is the woman who is the catechumen. But if a woman of the faithful is taken in marriage by a man who left an innocent wife, and if she knew that he had a wife whom he had left without cause, it is determined that Communion is not to be given to her even at death” (Canon 10).
Basil the Great“A man who marries after another man’s wife has been taken away from him will be charged with adultery in the case of the first woman; but in the case of the second he will be guiltless” (Second Canonical Letter to Amphilochius 199:37 [A.D. 375]).
Ambrose of Milan“No one is permitted to know a woman other than his wife. The marital right is given you for this reason: lest you fall into the snare and sin with a strange woman. ‘If you are bound to a wife do not seek a divorce’; for you are not permitted, while your wife lives, to marry another [Rom. 7:3; 1 Cor. 7:39]” (Abraham 1:7:59 [A.D. 387]).
“You dismiss your wife, therefore, as if by right and without being charged with wrongdoing; and you suppose it is proper for you to do so because no human law forbids it; but divine law forbids it. Anyone who obeys men ought to stand in awe of God. Hear the law of the Lord, which even they who propose our laws must obey: ‘What God has joined together let no man put asunder’ [Matt. 19:6; Mark 10:9]” (Commentary on Luke 8:5 [A.D. 389]).
Jerome“Do not tell me about the violence of the ravisher, about the persuasiveness of a mother, about the authority of a father, about the influence of relatives, about the intrigues and insolence of servants, or about household [financial] losses. So long as a husband lives, be he adulterer, be he sodomite, be he addicted to every kind of vice, if she left him on account of his crimes, he is her husband still and she may not take another [Rom. 7:2-3; 1 Cor. 7:39]” (Letters 55:3 [A.D. 396]).
“Wherever there is fornication and a suspicion of fornication, a wife is freely dismissed. Because it is always possible that someone may calumniate the innocent and, for the sake of a second joining in marriage, act in criminal fashion against the first, it is commanded that when the first wife is dismissed, a second may not be taken while the first lives [Rom. 7:3; 1 Cor. 7:39]” (Commentaries on Matthew 3:19:9 [A.D. 398]).
Pope Innocent I“[T]he practice is observed by all of regarding as an adulteress a woman who marries a second time while her husband yet lives [Mark 10:12; Rom. 7:3a], and permission to do penance is not granted her until one of them is dead” (Letters 2:13:15 [A.D. 408]).
Augustine“Neither can it rightly be held that a husband who dismisses his wife because of fornication and marries another does not commit adultery. For there is also adultery on the part of those who, after the repudiation of their former wives because of fornication, marry others. This adultery, nevertheless, is certainly less serious than that of men who dismiss their wives for reasons other than fornication and take other wives. Therefore, when we say: ‘Whoever marries a woman dismissed by her husband for reason other than fornication commits adultery,’ undoubtedly we speak the truth. But we do not thereby acquit of this crime the man who marries a woman who was dismissed because of fornication. We do not doubt in the least that both are adulterers. We do indeed pronounce him an adulterer who dismissed his wife for cause other than fornication and marries another, nor do we thereby defend from the taint of this sin the man who dismissed his wife because of fornication and marries another. We recognize that both are adulterers, though the sin of one is more grave than that of the other. No one is so unreasonable to say that a man who marries a woman whose husband has dismissed her because of fornication is not an adulterer, while maintaining that a man who marries a woman dismissed without the ground of fornication is an adulterer. Both of these men are guilty of adultery [Matt. 19:9; Mark 10:11; Luke 16:18a]” (Adulterous Marriages 1:9:9 [A.D. 419]).
“A woman begins to be the wife of no later husband unless she has ceased to be the wife of a former one. She will cease to be the wife of a former one, however, if that husband should die, not if he commit fornication [Rom. 7:2-3; 1 Cor. 7:39]. A spouse, therefore, is lawfully dismissed for cause of fornication; but the bond of chastity remains. That is why a man is guilty of adultery if he marries a woman who has been dismissed even for this very reason of fornication [Matt. 5:32b; Luke 16:18b]” (ibid., 2:4:4).
“Undoubtedly the substance of the sacrament is of this bond, so that when man and woman have been joined in marriage they must continue inseparably as long as they live [Rom. 7:2a; 1 Cor. 7:39a], nor is it allowed for one spouse to be separated from the other except for cause of fornication. For this is preserved in the case of Christ and the Church, so that, as a living one with a living one, there is no divorce, no separation forever” (Marriage and Concupiscence 1:10:11 [A.D. 419]).
“In marriage, however, let the blessings of marriage be loved: offspring, fidelity, and the sacramental bond. Offspring, not so much because it may be born, but because it can be reborn; for it is born to punishment unless it be reborn to life. Fidelity, but not such as even the unbelievers have among themselves, ardent as they are for the flesh. . . . The sacramental bond, which they lose neither through separation nor through adultery, this the spouses should guard chastely and harmoniously” (ibid., 1:17:19).
Biblically understood, fornication is pre-marital sex. Pay attention to the story of Joseph and Mary. They were not yet married, yet referred to each other as "husband" and "wife." Because he thought she was guilty of committing fornication, he was seeking to divorce her. How can you divorce someone you are not yet married to?!? This is where understanding their culture is important and not trying to impose your culture upon the Bible! They had a betrothal period, which, if you were so inclined, you could liken to our engagement period. So, before you are married, if your partner committed fornication during your "engagement" period, you could dismiss him/her. Once the two of you have been joined together in marriage before God and the sexual union has taken place, you are not allowed to divorce (Matt. 19:6; Mark 10:9; Rom. 7:2-3; 1 Cor. 7:39). If you do, then you are to remain single for the rest of your life, or you are to be reconciled to your spouse (1 Cor. 7:10-11).
Many a professed Christian will not like these words because they oppose their flesh. Sorry, but this is the Word of God, and it is to be obeyed. Scripture is not subject to the sinful desires of your flesh. Here is a point I want you to grasp clearly, because it has grave consequences: God will judge the fornicator and the adulterer (Heb. 13:4). What does 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 say? Fornicators and adulterers will not inherit the kingdom of God! What does Galatians 5:19-21 say? Fornication and adultery are evident deeds of the flesh and will not inherit the kingdom of God. The Greek grammar says that if you are in a second marriage while your first spouse lives, you are in a constant state of adultery, which means you should be very fearful of your situation. If you have truly repented, what does repentance look like in this scenario? True repentance would involve leaving the unsanctioned second union. Whether you like it or not, and regardless of the lies any other preacher may try to feed you, this is the biblical truth. If you cannot accept it, then you cannot be His disciple. Pure and simple.